God Hates? God Loves?

We happened to leave Wichita on Sunday, and were "treated" to two different episodes of picketing at local churches as we drove out of town. These picketers were from the infamous Westboro Baptist Church where the equally infamous "Pastor" Fred Phelps presents his version of the gospel, and encourages the members of his congregation (largely his family) to spread a skewed version of the Good News. For those of you not familiar, the Phelps family has demonstrated at funerals of our fallen soldiers, leading to the creation of laws banning such protests so that grieving families may lay their loved ones to rest peacefully. The members of this congregation have also protested against homosexuality, at the memorial service of the former leader of the LDS church, and at Michael Jackson's funeral...to name just a few of their causes.

Matthew was sitting next to me as we passed the first group of picketers, where a couple of children who appeared to be no older than 5 or 6 held up profanity laced signs. He immediately perked up and asked me what this was all about, and why those kids would hold up signs saying such awful things, and why they would do so at the entrance to a church. Joshie and Kenny had not noticed, as they were playing in the back seat, so I attempted to explain the group's actions in terms Matthew would understand without treating his curiosity with a lack of respect or by "dumbing down" my responses. Sadly, hate is a part of our world and at 10 years old Matthew is becoming more aware of the larger world around him. He is also very perceptive and introspective. He would immediately know if I was dodging him, so I always answer his questions straight up.

But how does one explain such things as Fred Phelps and his anger at America and Americans? I struggled to find the words to combat the words printed boldly on the signs Matthew had read, words that are contrary to everything he has been taught...God Hates. He was quite confused by one sign in particular that declared "Thank God For Dead Soldiers". He looked up at me and asked "Mommy, why would God hate soldiers who die for us? Aren't they doing a good thing protecting us? These guys make no sense to me!".

I found myself in a moral dilemma, one that many of you might not find to be a dilemma at all. For many parents it would be a quick "These guys are nut jobs, just ignore them." and that would be end the conversation. Or perhaps the entire thing would not be acknowledged and questions would not be answered in an effort to protect a child's innocence. Maybe that is the road I should have taken, but as I sat there quietly mulling all of this over, I realized a simple answer would not suffice, and that ignoring it would be the chicken's way out. I may be a chicken in some regards, but when it comes to my kids I am a Momma Bear and sometimes even Momma Bears have to face challenges they'd prefer to avoid.

So, taking a deep breath and carefully measuring my response, I decided to take this to another level with Matthew. I felt he deserved it, and it was my job to figuratively take his hand and walk through it with him. So we began...

I explained that there are many approaches to Christianity, many extremes in all faiths, and that he had just witnessed one of them. I tried as best I could to explain the Phelp's family's perspective about how God hates all evil and those that Fred Phelps personally perceives as being evil, based upon his interpretation of the Bible. We talked about the contrast between hating sin but not hating the sinner, about forgiveness, about redemption.

Then we tippy toed down the most difficult path when I asked Matthew "Do you think what they are doing is right?" and he replied "No way!", and then I asked "Do you think God loves the Phelps family as much as God loves you and I, even though they are spreading hatred in God's world?"...and Matthew remained quiet for a few moments, then replied thoughtfully "Yea, I think so, because I think God loves everyone, and if God can forgive murder and stuff like that, then God will forgive these guys for saying mean things." He then added "But I still think they are pretty bad people to even have their kids carrying around signs with bad words on it.".

The conversation then drifted towards the rights of every American to voice their opinions about anything, even if it is distasteful to the majority of people. I said "Do you realize that the very soldiers they are saying such awful things about are willing to die in part for the right for these people to say such things? You know that in many countries people would be killed for saying things against the government or against what the government thinks is right. How do you think the soldiers families feel when they see signs at their son's or husband's funerals?". We spent the next 20 miles or so weighing whether it was worth it or not to die for people like this to say horrible things. Ultimately, Matt came to the conclusion that he loves living where we can all be free, and that freedom means that everyone is free...not just those who agree with us.

I personally find Fred Phelps and those of his ilk repulsive. To my way of thinking, they are twisted and represent a distorted view. Are they evil personified? It might be best if we reminded ourselves that just as we may see them as evil, they too see us as equally evil. Who is right? Does God love or does God hate?

If I am to truly embrace that God loves us all, then that means that God loves Fred Phelps and his family. Ooohhh...that is a hard one for me! It puts it all out there, doesn't it? God loves our enemies just as much as we are loved, and man, that is a concept that is hard to swallow sometimes, especially when we feel that someone is the antithesis of what the gospel teaches, and yet there is that unrelenting Love that we claim to believe in. We show we truly believe it when we recognize that even those who are at odds with us are still loved, even if not by us.

And isn't that a comforting thought? To know that we too are always loved even when at times we might be despised by those around us? Whether that loathing is earned or not, we have redemption and love waiting for us.

God may hate behavior, God may hate actions or thoughts or deeds. God does not hate us, no matter our failings.

And God loves Fred Phelps too, whether I'd be capable of that or not.