Friday, November 06, 2009
Well...no phone call this week...no travel date yet,
and I am totally ready to admit I am GRUMPY and out of sorts. It has not been a good week, although it certainly hasn't been awful compared to some I have experienced in my life. Just a total downer in many respects.
The wait is taking a toll, I had been finally allowing my heart to go to "that place" that was more open and light after our Family Celebration. I think it was finally sinking in that after all this time, we just might really be bringing our daughters home. As the phone has been silent, I can literally feel my heart closing back up and I wonder if it will re-open if we ever do finally get the call to go. We had been told it was reasonable to expect to be on the plane in 3-4 weeks...that we would probably be in Kazakhstan by Thanksgiving. As we are now entering the 2nd week of November I don't see that happening.
We have other stresses as we have employees whose lives are also on hold and are going to be inconvenienced as we continue to be clueless about our plans over the holidays. I hate doing that to them, as they are part of our family too and although it is out of our control and our agency's control, it still is frustrating. We are awaiting our Letter of Invitation to obtain our visas, then we are good to go.
This is obviously all weighing on me more heavily than I realized. I am Super Bubble Head right now...forgetting things at every turn, being a bit snappish, and generally just not my usual self. I want to quit feeling as if I am limbo, as if our lives are on hold here.
Mainly, I want my family altogether, finally.
To top it off, I dropped and broke my laptop yesterday evening...leading me further down the road to Grumpdom.
So pardon this less-than-gleeful post. I am sure that by tomorrow I will be in a better frame of mind. It is funny how Dominick and I are bouncing back and forth on this as the wait drags on. One day it is his turn to be antsy and the next day it is mine. Heaven forbid we are both there on the same day!! Hahaha!
This weekend I am going to do my best to just relax, let go, have a little fun and not even think about getting on an airplane!