Well...no phone call this week...no travel date yet,
and I am totally ready to admit I am GRUMPY and out of sorts. It has not been a good week, although it certainly hasn't been awful compared to some I have experienced in my life. Just a total downer in many respects.
The wait is taking a toll, I had been finally allowing my heart to go to "that place" that was more open and light after our Family Celebration. I think it was finally sinking in that after all this time, we just might really be bringing our daughters home. As the phone has been silent, I can literally feel my heart closing back up and I wonder if it will re-open if we ever do finally get the call to go. We had been told it was reasonable to expect to be on the plane in 3-4 weeks...that we would probably be in Kazakhstan by Thanksgiving. As we are now entering the 2nd week of November I don't see that happening.
We have other stresses as we have employees whose lives are also on hold and are going to be inconvenienced as we continue to be clueless about our plans over the holidays. I hate doing that to them, as they are part of our family too and although it is out of our control and our agency's control, it still is frustrating. We are awaiting our Letter of Invitation to obtain our visas, then we are good to go.
This is obviously all weighing on me more heavily than I realized. I am Super Bubble Head right now...forgetting things at every turn, being a bit snappish, and generally just not my usual self. I want to quit feeling as if I am limbo, as if our lives are on hold here.
Mainly, I want my family altogether, finally.
To top it off, I dropped and broke my laptop yesterday evening...leading me further down the road to Grumpdom.
So pardon this less-than-gleeful post. I am sure that by tomorrow I will be in a better frame of mind. It is funny how Dominick and I are bouncing back and forth on this as the wait drags on. One day it is his turn to be antsy and the next day it is mine. Heaven forbid we are both there on the same day!! Hahaha!
This weekend I am going to do my best to just relax, let go, have a little fun and not even think about getting on an airplane!
7 comments:
Ugh. I keep waiting to see you're leaving too....every time I see a post update I can't wait to see!
However--you are certainly entitled to a little grumpdom! I hate that your laptop broke--hope you had it covered!
Dear Cindy,
As you mentioned in an earlier post, you know many of us are waiting with you because your web traffic is up. So, when you say, "no call," I get sad, too. We are just finalizing our home study for the 3d time after switching countries and re-grouping, so I am particularly empathetic to your grumpdom. Plus, as an owner of a 2 partner firm that employs 3, I totally get worrying about staff/budgets while one is gone. I really don't know how I am going to accomplish this, although Skype is clearly needed! So, get that laptop fixed/replaced! (smile) I really do believe you will get your call soon, and your eloquent rants are like music to my own angst ridden soul. It's nice to read about someone else in such similar circumstances. So, even as you suffer, know that your suffering relieves the suffering of others, especially because if I were to admit to my angst in front of the majority of friends/family, the response would be, "I don't know why you keep pursuing this!" Much better to listen to your heartfelt words and use them as a springboard to calmness. See, you didn't know the silver lining to your cloud. I do hope you will keep sharing your journey, as we hope to follow in your footsteps.
Blessings, Sherry
I can certainly understand your grumpiness. We wait with you for the Call! It will come and we will all be so exited for your family! In regards to the laptop, ugh ugh ugh!
No Matter how 'grumpy' you call yourself, I always love to read your posts as they are never selfish or self absorbed.
Coming off an awful week last week and having a way better one this weeek, I will say that you will be glad of the grmmpy week casue the next week is so much sweeter
Hugs
joyce
Hang in there Cindy! You are normally one of the most upbeat among those of us who are anxiously waiting to travel--so know that we all agree there's nothing to apologize about for grumpihood every now and then! I love the fact that even though your laptop broke, you still are posting to your blog--that's true dedication! :)
Cindy -- you've certainly earned the right to be grumpy... and your broken laptop sure takes the cake. We are anxiously following your blog, and feel your pain over all these delays. Hang in there, girl!
Prayers continue...
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