After "Grumpy Friday" it looks like God is giving me a little hiney kick and giving me a "Grateful Saturday". We all need a little hiney kick now and then, and I certainly did...and the reminder I received was a powerful one.
Once upon a time there was a baby named Joshua LaJoy and he had a bad baby life. He finally stopped and he finally gave in on his mother and he grew up and had a big gift in his life. It was love and forgiveness and care.
He was the best kid in his class and he did not care he if he got “O”’s or “S-“ or “S”. He was in TaeKwonDo and he loved it so much he said he will stay in it until I am a four degree black belt and he did not care so much about sports. He he go’ed (went) to Kyrgyzstan that’s how he got his older brother and the water there was icky water and you could get very sick and you will have diarrhea very bad and that’s where we got my brother Kenny. I know I did not mention him at the beginning of the story and my other family members of the family.
I don't know what prompted this, how he went from Batman to biography. Of course I was in tears, and so was Dominick. God knew exactly what I needed today, what would fill up my soul and give me peace...and it came in the form of imperfect, humorous, diarrhea mentioning little boy writing filled with love for his life and his family. "...and he grew up and had a big gift in his life. It was love and forgiveness and care." Oh God, how you have given ME such a big gift in this life!!!
The wait is worth it, the struggles we will inevitably have as adjustments to a new life are made are worth it, how could I ever, even for a moment, think otherwise? How could my frustration cause me to wish that we had not been in the middle of this messy adoption for so long?
And how in the world did Dominick and I ever come to be the parents of these children? Man, just when I think nothing would ever surpass the special little moments we have already had, another one comes along that takes us to yet another level of love for these amazing kids of ours. I know everyone feels that way about their kids, as well they should, for if you have ceased to be intrigued, amazed and humbled by your experience as a parent then you are missing out on so much!!
I also know our kids are no more special or precious than any of yours out there, but I love to remind myself as often as possible of what a gift they are to us...and of how empty our hearts would have been had we given in to fear and not moved forward with our very first adoption. It can be SO easy to let fear get the best of you, to imagine all the possible worst case scenarios. Surprisingly, it can prove difficult to let your mind wander towards the BEST case scenarios! We gird ourselves for the trials that may lay ahead, for that is the wise thing to do. But those of you who are waiting, make a point of stopping for just a moment every once in awhile and let those walls come down a tiny bit. Allow yourself those dreams of playing catch in the backyard, of bedtime kisses and stories, of "I love you all the way to the moon and back" whispered sleepily in your ear.
I can guarantee you, the reality will far exceed any of the dreams you may have. In the words of Josh, you just might find you too have a "big gift in your life.".
May it be so for all of us.
I love you more than life itself, my dear sweet Joshua. Thanks for "giving in on" me. May you become the writer, or scientist or Daddy or Superman you have always imagined you could be, and may your Daddy and I be right there beside you as you achieve all the awesome things we know are in store for you.