Tomorrow I am doing something I never imagined myself doing...I am preaching a sermon at our church. Our Pastor is out of town for the weekend and somehow I got volunteered to write and preach the sermon. Quite honestly, I am so scared...I have never done anything like this before and am NOT good at public speaking, nor have I ever written for "public consumption" before other than my measly efforts on this blog.
It has given me pause this evening, as I wonder what I could possibly say that anyone would find of value. I feel completely ill equipped and out of place doing this. However, it is a great learning experience not only for me, but for the boys as well. I have let them know this is something I am very uncomfortable doing, and that it takes courage to move away from our own comfort zones and try something so totally foreign. I hope that seeing the example of doing something new even if you are scared will sink in and maybe they can look back on it someday when they are in the same position.
It is also serving to give me a small insight into the very challenging role of being a Pastor. It would be such a struggle, week after week, to read the Scriptures and then find a way to interpret them and make them meaningful in a time when so often anything having to do with religion is laughed off as "backward" or "irrelevant". When you consider that is just a small part of a Pastor's job it gives you greater respect for all that they do to serve the people of their Congregation.
So I will have a sleepless night as I fret and stew over tomorrow, and by tomorrow night it will all be over with and I will be able to relax and really focus fully on our adoption plans. We are now counting down and have barely less than a month before we leave, and there is much to do still...lists upon lists of things to do.
A Yahoo listmate of ours left today for Bishkek, and is graciously taking along a small gift for Toktogul. I ordered a small "Lightning McQueen" car and a very nice picture book of Russian/Engligh words tramslated. While she will not get to meet our son, she is passing the gift on for us to be delivered to him. I wonder if he has been told when we are coming for him? I wonder what he is thinking about all of this, if it has really sunken in yet? I guess the answers to those questions are coming soon...