Thursday, May 28, 2009

Powerless

Here I sit, a couple of hours before leaving for the airport to advocate for 65 Kyrgyz children, and I am struggling with my own frustration and anger at yet another delay we learned of yesterday in the submission of our own dossier. Yes, again folks...our FBI fingerprints have now expired and need to be redone. The process with Kaz is now so difficult and challenging that I am beginning to wonder if we will ever really complete our adoption.

I am so wishing I wasn't getting on the plane with this heavy heart. But as Dominick and I were talking about this morning, our own personal issues will just have to wait and I need to mentally push them aside for I have to focus on the needs of other children right now.

I have to ask the question though...

Who will advocate for OUR children???

Or am I in training right now when it doesn't concern ours so I can continue on in the fight for our own? Just wish someone was in our corner at moments, it feels pretty lonely here.

God, please work through us somehow. I don't know how You plan to do it, but I hope You do. I also realize that You may choose to use us in some other less obvious way on this trip, with someone not even involved at all in adoption. However You decide to do it, make it powerful for that is when it is totally the coolest!! God, please bring comfort to the waiting families, for I know the pain they feel and it is awful, it is a powerlessness that is unequaled. As we meet with officials, let them see what You know they need to see...simply a mom and son who love each other with all their hearts. Let them see that "family" is more important than any cultural losses or any bureaucratic red tape. Let our words be Your words, let all ego be completely removed from the situation so You come through with whatever message You want them to hear, make us funnels, make us conduits. Allow us to be a blessing to those we encounter...not just officials and diplomats but other waiting parents, taxi drivers, airplane seatmates.

You ask us to never forget the widows and orphans. We are heeding Your command. They are not forgotten and we will do all we can do so that the word "orphan" is no longer attached to at least 65 more children in this world.

And Lord, you know I need a sign in our own circumstance right now, I need something to let me know You are still in all of it and leading it, that my own dismay and fear can be put to rest and that I need only continue to do the work necessary. Are you putting up road blocks to stop us? Or to test us? Is there some reason for these delays that will become apparent? Or are you screaming at us and are we not listening? I am so utterly confused anymore, and this is so very, very hard. I need You right here, right now. Be with me, I will try to be still. Amen.

10 comments:

Anonymous said...

Your corner is NEVER empty of support and help. Just look around you. Just open your eyes and your heart and see everyone who is there to help you. Don't get frustrated, just take it day by day, one day at a time. Just take it "bird by bird, buddy" - it'll come together, just take it one step at a time. Your Kyrgyz Tribe

TheHappyNeills said...

The LORD OUR GOD will advocate for your children! You have the biggest advocate of all. All these orphans do. He's sovereign over all creation indeed. Godspeed, sister!

(we're not one of the 65. hoping our situation will be dealt with next--dossier in kg, but no referral)

Lenore Ryan said...

We're here.....and are praying with you and for you!! Our hearts are with you too!! Have a safe trip and remember you really, truly do touch all you come into contact with!!

Hilary Marquis said...

Footprints
Also Known As "I Had a Dream"

One night I dreamed a dream.
I was walking along the beach with my Lord. Across the dark sky flashed scenes from my life. For each scene, I noticed two sets of footprints in the sand, one belonging to me and one to my Lord.

When the last scene of my life shot before me I looked back at the footprints in the sand. There was only one set of footprints. I realized that this was at the lowest and saddest times of my life. This always bothered me and I questioned the Lord about my dilemma.

"Lord, You told me when I decided to follow You, You would walk and talk with me all the way. But I'm aware that during the most troublesome times of my life there is only one set of footprints. I just don't understand why, when I need You most, You leave me."

He whispered, "My precious child, I love you and will never leave you, never, ever, during your trials and testings. When you saw only one set of footprints, It was then that I carried you."

Margaret Fishback Powers, 1964

You are never alone! We love you and your family...all of them. If there comes a time when we can do more for your girls all you have to do is ask. You'd have a small army ready to fight with you!

Pamela said...

As I sit here preparing for tomorrow's meeting, I eagerly await the best part of the day...seeing you, Kenny, Suzanne, Lisa, Shannon, and Ann. I so look forward to spending the day with you all and can't think of a better gift that God could provide while I wait.

XOXO

Lindsay said...

Your pain over not being able to bring your daughters home yet brings me to tears. I know advocating for the Kyrgyz children will not affect what is going on in Kaz, and I wish you weren't having to go thru it. However I'm sure your own pain will help the officials you are meeting see how very, very real the pain of waiting families is and help persuade them to get moving.

Praying that you fingerprints can be redone without too much delay and that all problems with your dossier are sorted soon.

Best wishes to you and Kenny on your trip. Praying it accomplishes what it needs to for everyone.

Anonymous said...

Cindy,
As an advocate for orphans would you consider investigating who caused the shark frenzy or feeding frenzy in Kyrgyzstan? There would not have been so much corruption if there wasn't so much money available to the officials.
For instance: Why can't childless Kyrgyz parents afford adoption in Kyrgyzstan?
I hope the best in your meeting today, but I fear the blame will only be focused on Kyrgyz officials and not on the agencies who have found ways to slip (your?) money to the heartless.
Sincerely,
Looking for an advocate for Kyrgyz orphans

Maria said...

Please share The Lathams utmost appreciation to Kenny for his work this past weekend as Ambassador. I am certain that he spoke for ALL the waiting children in those orphanages in ways that mommies, daddies, delegates and officials never could. He is the voice of the child. "Let the children come to me." He is a blessing and seeing God work through this sweet little man (the meek that will inherit the earth) has moved my heart. Thank you for all you do, Cindy. You are a champion and God is doing mighty things through you. Blessings!!

Maria said...

Well, sorry, I meant to leave this comment on your most recent blog post -- it's late, I'm tired. You know the mommy drill!! Hugs!! OH, and tell Kenny he looked terribly handsome in his suit!!

Suzanne said...

Is there anything I can do?

-Suzanne

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