I have received many surprise gifts this Mother's Day...the best of course is that Kenny is doing well, is up and moving about and will be coming home with Dominick tonight. Our house is a bit too quiet without our loudest and most boisterous members!! This morning at church, I was sitting in the pews with the boys as the choir sang "Lord Prepare Me to be a Sanctuary". Quietly and ever so softly I hear Matthew start singing along with them, then later Joshie joined in. I don't know exactly why that struck me so deeply...maybe it is because I actually do find a Sanctuary within my family. Matthew's little high pitched voice sounded so sweet and tender to me, and I realized my time with him as a young boy is almost over, and I guess that is a little heartbreaking despite the fact that I dearly love and admire the person he is turning out to be.
I am so glad my children are who they are, and that they have the nurturing and support of a church family. Today was Youth Sunday and our Senior Highers created our worship service during which they reflected upon their time with us as 3 of them face graduation this month. Regardless of their level of participation, this place and these people have meant something to them. Their lives are forever just a little bit different for their involvement in the life of our Congregation. Sometimes I feel like such a complete idiot, as I sat there crying as if it was one of my own who was soon to leave the nest. Or maybe it is because it all flies by so fast, and I realize that we are already halfway there...and already I am not ready for it to be over. How I love being a mommy, how glad I am that I didn't let the chance almost pass me by as was very possible.
And of course, there is some sorrow in the mix as once again our daughters are not home for another holiday, a special one I would have loved to share with them. But, as any good mother does, I hold on to hope that next year they'll finally be home. They know and I know I am their "real" mom :-) For now, that will have to be enough.
Although Dominick wasn't here to spur the kids on for Mother's Day, I still was spoiled rotten. Encouraging words from other mommies who I love dearly via email and Hallmark made a big difference for me...and a very special handmade gift given to me by one of my children's "Momentary Moms" will take a place of honor in our home. I had a bright, remarkable young man hug me firmly this morning and have the courage to whisper in my ear "I love you, Cindy. You are such a blessing in my life and I am so grateful for you." . I heard Kenny's little voice on the phone this morning as he blew kisses my way, and had Joshie's written letter to me in which he declared "yon are the best mom in the hol univers. my mom is the best mom of ol of the moms in the wold!!", and then there was Matthew's sweet serenade in the pew beside me. I am blessed beyond all measure, amazed at the goodness and love in my life.
So let the tears fall as they may, for love filling a life is certainly something worth crying for joy about. Of that I will not be ashamed.
Happy Mother's Day to all...those with and without children, and for those whose children still wait. Hang in there, that is what Mom's do.