Monday, August 02, 2010

Remember Me????

Wow...a whole week without posting. That hasn't happened in forever! We experienced technical difficulties all last week, and while there were a few things I was itching to post, our internet service wasn't cooperating. Yes, I did go through withdrawals, which when happening as I am detoxing off caffeine is NOT a pretty sight. However, I made it through, and here I am with what will likely turn out to be a super long post along with pics.

This morning I was treated to breakfast in bed...sort of...I was already out of bed but Joshua made me waffles all by himself (toaster) and brought them to me on a tray. No reason at all, and when I asked he said "Umm...because I love you so much and wanted to show you." Could there be a better start to a day than that? I admit the day headed into a slow and steady descent from there, as we started school work and it seemed like everyones brain was taking a mini-vacation leaving me filled with doubts which I try to shove back into the shadows as quickly as possible. Olesya literally couldn't tell me what time it was as we practiced what time 1:00 was, Kenny misspelled everything under the sun...including the word "let". Matthew defined "solitary" in the oddest way ever...and much, much more fun was to be had at Casa LaJoy today as every single child had to redo some portion of at least one assignment.

I reminded myself that in my role as Evil Mother-Teacher, at least we COULD back up and redo assignments versus having to keep going and pretend we understood concepts as would happen in "real" school. Right??? Silver lining somewhere, right?

We took a trip to Box Canyon Falls in Ouray this weekend, which totally fascinated the girls who had never seen it before. Then we drove on up to another old mountain mining town, Silverton, where we had a lot of fun, saw a gunfight reenactment, and checked out all the old buildings. All in all it was a really great time, despite the rain that threatened throughout the day.

Sunny is settling in, and feels like she has always been with us. The little stinker sure is spoiled rotten and all the kids think it is somehow tragic if her tender little feet ever have to hit the ground...they have carried her just about everywhere and she spends alternate nights in the boys or girls room. We have a long way to go to train her, but are getting there a little at a time. I sure didn't want a true puppy, but if we had to get one this young and train it, she was the perfect little one. It is such a treat for me to be able to hold an animal again!! I have actually had to do very little of the work associated with her. Split 7 ways, it is very manageable and no one feels too overwhelmed with the care a puppy requires.

On the good days, school is going well...hahahaha! We had a great lesson on making African masks from fellow blog reader and dear friend, Lael. You can see the results here:

While the girls sort of kept to the theme with a bit of a Mardi Gras flair to it, the boys drifted off into super hero and military territory. All in all they had a terrific time even if they didn't turn out very African-esque!

As for me personally, well, I am doing ok...chugging along, having highs and lows, trying to sort out my life as it goes in all sorts of directions. At moments I feel I have a firm handle on it all, and at others it honestly feels it is held together with spit and paper wads. I think that from the outside, it looks pretty smooth and it is only internally that the bumpy ride is felt.

Part of it is that faith issues are driving the bus at the moment, and that is not something that is able to be put up on a shelf until I feel like dealing with it at a later date. God doesn't really work that way :-) My ministry classes have affected me on an unexpectedly deep level, and surprisingly I am exploring areas I had never anticipated coming up. It is all very good and necessary, but also very challenging and at times cuts to the quick. I guess it is flat out altering my life and part of me is having a tough time with that. I am blessed beyond measure to have someone incredibly supportive and understanding to walk with me through it, and yet spacsious enough to allow me to be just who I am at this very moment. But I'll admit, there are moments when I wish it was just easier.

I have been doing such heavy reading lately that I treated myself to my one purchased fluff novel of the year, the new Stephen King book "Under the Dome". Man, I just love his writing! While I am always enthralled with whatever latest way he has come up with to scare the bejeebers out of us, I am also sucked in by his ability to so quickly develop a character. Withing 1 page you can have the essence of who someone is, and most often can relate them to someone from your own life. It is the best treat I have had in awhile, and will no doubt be sucked into this heavy tome over the next couple of nights, even if it means staying awake into the wee hours of the morning. Hey, I don't watch TV and I don't have many other vices, so I am due the chance to veg out a bit I think! Haha!
On the tad bit more serious side, Joshua is having a bit of a melt down. He seems to have set backs about every 6 months or so, and was overdue for one. We are back to nightmares, sleep walking and talking, and it even freaked Angela out a little the other night. Insecurity has flared up as he decided against spending the night with his best friend this week, but was willing to do so if Kenny comes along so we will try that and see if that helps. My heart breaks just a little each time this happens to him, and I keep praying that one day he will move beyond it. He is such a tender little guy, and even tonight as he walked through the house having passed Dominick and I on the couch and not seeing me, you could hear the panic rise in his voice as he called out for me and didn't hear me respond. Hopefully this spell will be short lived.
Then there is Matthew and we have grown more concerned over his orthopedic issues which are becoming more pronounced and painful. We can no longer trust what the specialist told us a couple years ago...that special shoes would take care of the problem...and are going to start investigating other options. The poor kid is in pain just about any time he has to be on his feet any length of time, and my non-complainer is sharing that his knees and hips are killing him at the end of a semi-active day. So we begin to work on that in earnest as soon as Kenny's surgery in September is done.
The kids are all excited for our upcoming trip to California where the girls will meet their grandma's and other relatives for the first time. I am looking forward to it and will be especially glad to spend time with another long time adoptive mommy friend of mine while there, and to visit our adopted family in Vegas.
So there you are, all caught up on the day to day happenings, such as they are. Now, if I don't see Ben (our internet/phone technician) this week, then I will be back to blogging more regularly and hopefully with something more interesting to share!


Carol said...

I am still amazed at how one person can accomplish so much. You are juggling so many things... no wonder you are feeling some "bumps" here and there! Hang in there, and keep doing what you do. You are phenomenal.

Ohiomom2121 said...

Dear Cindy,
I can't say it enough. I really sense that last winter was a PTSD inducing time for you, and you need to give yourself time to heal. The stress of the tremendously powerful decisions you thought you were making in the "low points" is not something that will just go away overnight. Even though it will go away and is going away, you are trying to heal in the firestorm of new children, home schooling, etc. In my experience it took about a year to feel normal again after a powerful event that was very similar in intensity to your winter (not a crime, not a death, but just a prolonged period of high tension). So, while you are clearly getting your footing back under yourself and being tremendously productive through it all, you probably still need to pamper yourself emotionally for awhile. I don't necessarily mean get away from the kids bunches, b/c I think you can pamper yourself by having fun w/them, but just forgive yourself for not feeling 100% whole all the time, and have confidence that time and the normal process of getting adjusted to your new routines will allow you to get there in time.

I also share a sense of disquiet with the spiritual realm, as recent events have rocked my world on the issue of coincidences and signs. Some things seem too strong to ignore, yet my whole sense of who God is is being challenged, and it refuses to stay out of my mind. I think only reading the Bible can help, yet for my issues, the multitude of signs in the text only deepen my confusion. This is one of those areas where it would be interesting to see how you process those issues, as I mentioned when you were discussing your thoughts about writing. I'm just stuck being kind of confused! :) I keep mulling over the same issues without coming to any resolution.

Thanks once again for a post that is fun, challenging and thought provoking...I can always count on you to stir my brain.

Twin Mom Julie said...

Hi Cindy, I have been following your blog for a while now and feel like we're old pals! I'm in California (Los Angeles - San Fernando Valley)...please email me (! I swear I'm not a stalker...just a regular gal with a hubby and 6 year-old twin boys and we would totally love to have you and your beautiful family over one day during your CA trip for a BBQ and swimming. I don't think we're far from your mom; if I recall correctly you named her city one time in a blog post. Just down the freeway I think. Please do contact me and we can chat!! Julie