It is 2:15 AM, and I am sitting here trying to shut my brain off after a late night Diet Coke I shouldn't have downed, and some wonderful company we sure enjoyed. We had a little party at our house tonight...not the kind most people envision as a "party" as there was no alcohol, no dancing (unless you count the Wii Dance game!), no glitz or glamour. There were plenty of kids, lots of laughter, too much fondue, and the evening flew by.
Toward the end of the evening we were to write on a prayer flag what we hoped for in 2011...and I drew a total blank. I simply couldn't write anything and sat there for the longest time trying to delve deep and really think about what I would wish for in 2011, and nothing came to me.
Later, as I sit here typing, I realize it is because so many of my own personal dreams have come true and what I want more than anything is just to hang on to what we've got. Of course I wish for things like peace throughout the world...which sometimes seems further and further away from ever being possible. I wish for all children to have living homes, I would end world hunger if I could. We ALL want those big things, and often we work toward those goals in the ways in which we can, no matter how small. We donate to our local food banks, we give of our time, we vote our conscience with the hope that it will make a difference. Some folks go off and do extraordinary things in distant lands, others give their all right here at home. We all want to be the change we wish to see in the world, or at least many of us do.
But closer to home? What is it that I envision for 2011 for us LaJoy's and for me as Mommy? First and foremost, health for us all...I fervently wish that Kenny's surgeries are successful and that the pain is not intolerable. I wish for Matthew's feet and legs to be strong and pain free. I wish for the rest of us that we would experience no serious illness, that the kids continue to grow and blossom, that for Dominick and I that our days are long here on this earth and that we have the joy of experiencing grandchildren and seeing our kids grow well into successful lives as adults. Being older parents, you think more often about such things.
I wish that 2011 would bring more stability for Dominick and work, and that he wouldn't have to work as many hours as he has had to this last year to make ends meet. I am blessed with a husband who takes his committments very seriously, and is dedicated 100% to his family. I'd sure like to see life be a little easier for him.
In 2011 I want to gain confidence in our homeschooling and to hopefully see some strong results from all this hard work. I'd love to wake up each morning and not have doubts swirling about my ability to teach and to witness our kids learning in new, exciting and more creative ways. I'd like to somehow not feel scared all the time in the back of my mind about this path, I'd like to shake the fear that I am not capable of doing it. I would like to develop more of an ability to see that this IS my "real job" and not feel like it is just something I sort of do on the side. More importantly though, I want our kids to SOAR.
I want to laugh more together, to hug each other more often, to play more games together, to be more present for each other, to have more experiences that enrich all of our lives, and to never, ever forget how blessed we are to live in this family. I want 2011 to see our lives permeated with an appreciation for all that we have.
I guess in other ways, I'd also like to see 2011 be a year of maintaining what we have...for what we have makes us rich indeed and one always fears losing wealth. For us, that wealth has nothing to do with material goods but has everything to do with the love surrounding us and swirling among us. Our friendships that bring us so much joy, our family which is our most prized gift, our relationship with God that makes all of the aforementioned possible.
Maybe it is impossible to articulate in a few words what we hope the coming year will bring. Or maybe what we have is already so much there just isn't much more to wish for in our personal life.
May 2011 be kind to us all, may our world become a gentler, kinder, more generous world to live in. May all war end, may all hunger cease, may all loneliness be banished. Of course, this is all impossible...but in our little corners of the world perhaps we can make a difference.
Good bye 2010, a year of great growth and personal challenge. Hello 2011!