Thursday, July 01, 2010
Is a Little Modesty Too Much to Ask For??????
Today was Girl's Day Out, our first real one since coming home. It was time to buy a few clothes for summer and camp aside from having the girls wear the boys' old T-Shirts which they begged to have as we cleared out their closets. Although we had picked up a few things here in town at JCPenney, it was more to get us by and stall for time than to really build a wardrobe. The kids grow so fast when they first come home that we wanted to wait until that settled down before getting too much.
I also wanted to wait until the last possible moment before introducing bras, which have been needed since we came home. Wanting it to be special rather than something that was painfully uncomfortable due to new relationships, I purposely put it off knowing that with camp in July we would need to do something by then. I had thought we might get around to it a month or so ago, but that was when Angela strongly started making a stand about wanting to be a little girl, and she needed time to sort through some of those feelings at least a little before thrusting burdgeoning womanhood upon her. I am glad I waited until now, it was the right thing to do as instead of it being awkward and emotionally distancing it turned out to be a giggle fest for both Angela and Olesya. While Angela was at first a little crestfallen when I introduced the idea today, Olesya's delight pulled her into the adventure of it and she soon relented but wagged her finger at me as she said "OK Mama...but me still little girl!!" and I said "Of course you are, you will forever be my little girl!" and she grinned broadly at me, reassured all was well in her world.
What conflicting emotions reside beneath the surface for a young lady adopted at this age! And how much I love them both, the little girls that remain behind and the emerging women who will continue to blossom in so many ways over the coming years. For me, knowing who I am mommying at any given time can be a real challenge...is it the little girl within or the pre-teen waiting on the sidelines??
As this was our first real shopping extravaganza, I quickly realized that my worst nightmares were indeed going to be realized. We visited store after store, and there wasn't a thing on the racks that any of us found appropriate or of a style that was comfortable for either of them. I was surprised as each of them carefully looked at each item for quality and value as well, so there were no arguments about paying $40 for something that would fall apart in the wash the first laundry day.
We eventually found a few things for Angela but had to visit the Misses Dept. at Sears to do it. While I was not 100% pleased with our selections, they were certainly better than anything in the Juniors Department. Jeans that are cut so low on the hips that both girls blushed when trying them on, "skinny" jeans that only look good on anorexic waifs, shirts and blouses that are cut down the the belly button or are so see through you might as well not even wear a blouse. I couldn't believe that after hitting no less than 9 stores we found so very little that any of us deemed worth buying. I also was completely relieved that the girls and I seem to have the same idea of what is appropriate and what is not. They have no desire to be fashion plates, even politely declining a couple of things that I thought were not too outrageous. They want decent, modest, basic clothing...pants, polo shirts, etc. Angela has been telling me she only likes boy clothes, but we figured out today that it was not because she likes boy clothing per se, but because she is so shocked at the girl's clothes available and wants more casual, Land's End type styles. When we found some polo shirts in Sears at the Juniors Dept. she got so excited and said "See Mama? This good! This good for me!". She didn't realize there were styles she liked in girls cuts because we can't FIND them anywhere! I knew what she was hoping to find and figured surely we could locate it somewhere, but alas, other than a few items it was hopeless.
Poor Olesya came away with very little to show for our efforts. Her smaller size left her out of what we managed to find for Angela in the Misses Department. She is not yet solidly in Juniors but is too large for the Children's Dept. She too wants very modest clothing but prefers a little more girlie look than the tailored look Angela leans toward. Neither want low necklines, close cut jeans or too short shirts.
We came home and I fired up the laptop as Olesya told Dominick "Papa...all Grand Junction...all bad clothes, nothing pretty, all grown up clothes even for little girls! So sad, Papa!". So Dominick and I sat down across from each other with dueling laptops and perused the web sites for Land's End, LLBean, Gap school uniforms, etc. We usually will not shop such places as they are just too darned expensive but we both agreed it is 100% worth it in this case, even if they have to have less clothes it will be what we all think is appropriate and what they can feel confident in. But even there, it appears it will have to be the school uniform lines that are more what we are looking for.
I knew it was going to be a little bit of a challenge, but I never anticipated it being this hard. I also don't want them dressed in burkas, but man, what is out there these days is just plain awful. I have searched the internet for modest girls clothing and most of it comes up as dresses, which they are adamently opposed to :-)
So, come on everyone, PLEASE give me suggestions! What they are asking for, and what we actually are so HAPPY they are asking for, is not really all that odd...it is the same stuff I used to wear as a kid. Why is it so hard to find things now???? Has our society changed that radically? If they were a couple of sizes smaller we would still be able to find some cute styles in the children's sizes but neither one is really in that category anymore.
Well, I am off to check out LLBean I guess...Dominick told me "Spend what you need to, it's worth it. I don't want them walking around looking like..." well, you know. 'nuff said.