Thursday, March 15, 2012

Mommy to Loveland

I plugged in the GPS Thursday afternoon, and searched for the location I needed as I prepared to head over the the Front Range for the homeschooling conference I was going to work at.  There, on the screen, was the saved "favorites" Matt had programmed for me ahead of time..."Mommy to Loveland". Something about that had me grinning from ear to ear.  Maybe it was the "Mommy" still being used occasionally out of my ever-more-strapping 12 year old young man, or maybe it was the entire concept of Mommy going to a place named Loveland, when really as I pulled out of the driveway I was actually leaving my best version of "Loveland".

I had a terrific time at the conference, speaking with many wonderful parents and gaining insight and perspective on my "job".  Working with Carrie, my cohort in crime, was even more fun than last year and we were delighted to discover that Brenda, another vendor Mom we had met the previous year was right behind us and able to visit a little.  Oddly, as the weekend wore on, it felt almost like old home week as I also ran into Teresa, a long time adoption buddy and then for the first time met Lori...a Kaz adoptive mom I have known via the internet for about 10 years but have never had the pleasure of meeting face to face.  She and I spoke on the phone years ago prior to her bringing her son home who happened to have cleft lip and palate, something I did not at that time anticipate ever dealing with in our own family.  I loved how my world seemed so small this weekend, so filled with connections from different directions.  It reminded me that really, relationship is where it is at.

While it was nice to have my little get away, I missed my family.  There are moments during my hectic days when I yearn for just ten minutes without hearing "Momma!", but maybe that ten minutes is enough.  Speaking on the phone to each of the kids, hearing about their days, chatting with Dominick as he so tiredly tried to keep up conversation, I knew that no matter what else is going on in my life, and whatever I may have missed out on by walking down one path rather than selecting another, I made the right choice for me.

Coming home, it was even clearer.  Met before my car even hit the driveway by a bouncing Kenny and Joshua waving as I pulled up the street, and being attacked by the girls the minute I walked in as they excitedly asked about my weekend and shared all about what I had missed, there could be no doubt about what is and shall always remain the most important thing in my life.  My family is everything to me, as it is to Dominick.  I never, ever, ever take it for granted, I realize the blessing it is to live among the people I live with, and I know there are so many who wish they could come home to a family every day whose warmth and care envelopes them.  How the seven of us were drawn to one another and knit together as family is the work of  God, who took loneliness on both sides of the planet and matched hearts like perfectly fitting puzzle pieces.

I know the life I lead would be completely unfulfilling to some, and rather overwhelming to others.  That is why there are so many options in this world for the many different personality types!  Although I have had a string of other jobs, and there are activities I have been involved in with school, church or other groups, nothing can take the place of this.  Nothing feels as certainly right.  I think the thing that hits me the most, is that finally I have let go of "should have" completely, as I see what I am doing as the ultimate "should have" that I would have deeply regretted not doing had I made other choices for my life.  It's a nice place to be, resting in contentment.

I am Mommy of Loveland...the best job in the world for Cindy LaJoy.  


Anonymous said...

In a world where we are striving continually to acquire, few of us have found the deep peace and joy of letting go. Expectations and wants drive us away from the core of being--connection with what is true and eternal rather than what is transitory and destructible. You specifically, Cindy, and the LaJoys are living that.

Of course, being human we slip back occasionally into doing, being, acquiring to fill that hole within that only God, only love can fill.

Blessings on you and yours for the rich, thoughtful and loving lives you lead,

Anonymous said...

It gives me such great joy to "watch" your contentment with your place in life and the ways you grow ever more into "Mommy in Loveland," Cindy! I feel like a fly on the wall, and I gain so much by having the blessing of your sharing! Thank you! Bless you! Bless your family! May God continue to allow the love in the "land" you inhabit continue to grow.
Love, blessings, and shalom!

Carrie DeLille said...