Someone used this phrase in a conversation after church this past Sunday and it has stuck with me. God puts things together that we often would never imagine, the creativity of the Spirit cracks me up! In equal parts it also stuns me, amazes me, and brings me to tears.
Our life the last few years has often felt as if we are walking around in the midst of Divine Coincidence all the time. The human connections we have made, the things that have happened that are perfectly timed, the things you shake your head over and say "Man, I can NOT believe that!". But it makes me wonder...what comes first, the chicken or the egg? I mean, does something become Divine Coincidence because we are astute enough to perceive it as such? Or does Divine Coincidence CAUSE us to become enlightened and be able to see it for the act of God that it is?? Hmmmmmmmm...........might have to think about that one for awhile.
This past week despite the fact that life has ground to a halt for our family with the now infamous "Summer Flufest of '09", it has felt as if we were turning a corner and gaining momentum in some ways. After months and months of stalls and setbacks with our adoption, it feels as if the ball has begun to roll downhill, as if something is happening. I don't know why, as there really isn't anything that much new or exciting to report, but we received our FBI fingerprints back and sent them off for apostilling and then on to our agency, and that was the last of our expired documents (we hope!) that needed to be redone. Maybe that has brought hope.
But it seems that each time we have adopted there has been a moment when it all shifted, when it felt like we had moved beyond mere paperwork and could maybe let go and grab hold more firmly of the dream.
I think I am finally there.
Don't get me wrong, we are not quite ready to paint a room or anything like that yet...but we are closer, we have rounded the corner, and for some reason I am more lighthearted than I have been in a long time about all of this.
There are other things in our life that might be falling into place that initially had me fearful and worrying, and showed me the utter lack in trust in God that I actually have. Time tends to reveal all, and slowly it is as if the curtain is being pulled back on a new life in almost all areas. I am now slowly beginning to see it as preparation for our new improved version of our family. How scary it can be to take a running leap off a cliff, not knowing if there is anything to break your fall at the bottom!
Whatever is going on and however it all turns out, about a week ago I threw up my hands and figured God always had a much better plan than anything I would ever come up with, so I needed to just sit back, shut up, hold on, and yell "Yeeee Hawwwww!"
We have had critical and loving communication this week with special little someones, and there is no doubt that has lifted some of my gloom as well. Hearts are being prepared on both sides, and I feel more certain and confident than I ever have of the message God gave me years ago. More cliff jumping, I guess. But I know when we eventually board a plane I will do so with such a light heart and no fears for the future that it will be a moment of intense joy and anticipation. Not discounting the very real circumstances and challenges of older child adoption, just an understanding that whatever it is we will face will be what we are supposed to face, and God will be with us through it all.
I begin my next semester of lay ministry classes in 2 weeks, and I am looking forward to it very much. I can not believe just how much I have enjoyed these classes despite the fact this is about the hardest thing academically I have ever done. That's not saying much since I have never really been to college so it might be quite easy for some, but for me it has required a lot of critical thinking. The most exciting part is I am viewing my faith from very different angles, I am stretching and growing in new directions. Besides, as Dominick will attest to (and has driven him crazy over the years) I tend to love to over analyze everything, to dissect it, to explore it. It is nice to be in an environment where others enjoy doing the same thing!
Today I woke up to a beautiful summer day, and have spent it in some work and some play. The nicest thing about it was this was the first day in almost a month where I felt good! I still have a bit of a croaky sounding voice and a tiny wheeze in my chest, but as I opened my eyes I realized I finally didn't feel "sick", so I am overjoyed today but will still be taking it easy the rest of the week. The boys are all in some stage of getting over it, with Matthew showing the exhaustion the most. I am hopeful that another couple of days and the LaJoy's will all be in tip top shape and ready to enjoy what is left of summer.
We have done nothing but hang around the house, but we made strawberry swirl ice cream and created our T-Shirts for the 4th of July! It was our first attempt at tie dye, and it was mostly a success. The boys thought it was hilarious that I made them tie dye in their underwear...I didn't want to ruin new summer shorts or shirts!! There is finally an awareness out of all of them that you all are following along on our lives as Matthew said "Mommy, is this going on the blog? Make sure you don't show our underwear!!" Hahahaha! I, of course, promised to only show shots from the waist up. We also took an old sheet and made a tablecloth out of it. What I will NOT show in pictures was the joke we pulled on Dominick by tie dying a pair of his underwear. Rest assured, however, that come Saturday you can know that under his regular shorts, Dominick will be proudly patriotic :-) I am glad I married someone with such a terrific sense of humor.
So maybe now summer can really begin, maybe now the long winter of my soul is truly over...it is beginning to feel like it.