The Family God Built
My biggest fear is not on your list, but it scares me to death. It is not that I will not love them, I know I will, but rather, will they love me? My foster brother rejected my parents' love after years of their efforts. Even though they made mistakes I don't plan to make, and even though our children will be much younger than he was, my biggest fear is that at the end of the day, they will march out of our house angry at us and the world. We have 4 spectacular boys, so I know I am a good parent, but I worry that we cannot fix what damage has been done in 6 or 4 years at an orphanage.
My biggest fears are not on this list. I am looking forward to traveling and I feel confident in my ability to parent and my family's acceptance of my child. My biggest fear is that I will put all this time, money and emotional effort into this and in the end, I will not have a child. I will come home to an empty nursery forever, a reminder of everything that could have been but wasn't. My other big fear is that I will come to a crossroad in this process, where my choice is either doing something illegal or unethical or not coming home with my child. What will I do if I am faced with that decision? How would I deal with the fallout, regardless of which decision I would make?Interesting poll...Tammy
I understand the concern of unknown issues first hand. I adopted an infant from Russia in 1999. He struggles with behavioral issues that didn't show up until a little later. I've never even remotely considered disrupting the adoption. I would hate to think what his life would have been like had he been left in the orphanage to deal with these things on his own. Along with the tough times there are many many wonderful moments. It is during these moments, when his sweetness, intelligence and love come shining through that I know this child was meant to be with this family. I have faith that he will grow up to be a productive member of our society. In spite of all our struggles with this child, we adopted an infant from Kazakhstan in 2002. We have not had any issues come up with her. I know there are some pretty horrible stories out there, but I think for the majority of us we are able to deal with issues as they arise.
Here's my real secret fear--what will having another child do to my immediate family? Will adding one more harm, hinder, or help my family? The love for my other 2 children is so great I don't want to do anything to hurt them. With our first, I didn't worry at all. With number 2--big time worry. Now with number 3--it's there,but I keep reminding myself that it will be ok and look how well the children are doing. Faith and hope!
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