Thursday, October 23, 2008
With adoption it seems so easy to connect with God. I read a T-Shirt recently that said "Birth is an act of nature, Adoption is an act of God". While I don't think I would quite relegate birth to a mere act of nature, I wholeheartedly agreed with the sentiment about adoption being an act of God. It would be very hard for me not to see that when He has been an integral part of each of our adoptions and vital in the lives of those around us. But it has been with this adoption where He has risen to new heights in terms of involvement, and it seems the more we let go, the more we offer ourselves up with abandon, the more we see Him.
There is another family for whom this is truth as well, someone we just "met". Isn't it funny how we adoptive families are a little-known "Club" of sorts, and you can pick up the phone and speak with someone the first time and feel as if you have tons of things in common? The mere fact that your heart is guided in a certain direction is enough to allow for hours of conversation. As all of you regular followers know, there is a little boy who has been laid on our hearts this past year. He is special...he is Kyrgyz...he is older...he is cleft affected.
He was left behind.
Two of Kenny's 3 buddies had found their forever families, and in an odd and God-shaped twist of fate they ended up in the loving arms of a couple who we actually met briefly at a church service in Kyrgyzstan...the service where our own children volunteered to stand at the front of the church, globe in hands and help pray for the orphans of the world. Orphans praying for orphans, a moment that was unstaged and yet as perfectly planned as if it was orchestrated by the grandest imaginations in Hollywood. And there, in that very room, were the newest hearts to be touched.
Only Amir was left. The youngest of the bunch.
We never had the privilege of meeting Amir in person. Instead, we were introduced to him through Kenny's memories which come in spurts. Stories of playing with treasured Pokemon cards, of listening at Director's closed office doors and giggling, of younger and smaller kids falling prey to the taunts of older, stronger kids. There is no doubt that the protective side of Kenny was honed as he attended to Amir, his youngest heart-brother.
For some reason, Kenny's new youngest brother's heart was touched by Amir's loneliness. Joshua has prayed relentlessly every single night for Amir to find a family, for Amir to be safe. Even when the rest of us forgot to include Amir, Josh was the stalwart Prayer Warrior for Amir. A 5 year old child often reminds me what love is really all about, what faithfulness really means.
Yesterday, we learned that faithfulness has been rewarded. The family with whom we have been corresponding recently has made a firm decision to adopt Amir, they are well prepared to handle any special needs that arise, they are experienced parents of both bio and adopted children. They waited for God to speak, and He did. If you enjoy my blog, I am sure you will enjoy Carrie's as well: http://www.delillefamilyupdates.blogspot.com/ . This is an amazing family to read about and Carrie's writing touched me...I have found a kindred spirit in her, as well as a much needed mentor as we move out of the realm of one and two kids adopted and step into the "Crazy Adoptive Family With Tons of Kids" neighborhood.
You know, God does make and keep promises. Whether your God is a merciful God, a vengeful God, a loving Creator, a Father Figure or a Rule Maker...He keeps His promises. Do we keep our promises to Him? Do we truly give ourselves up to His rule in our life? Do we "Let go and let God" the way the bumper sticker implores us to do? Have you ever seriously tried it...going against the grain and against every single fiber of your being to do what you know He wants you to do? Even when it is the LAST thing you want to do? Yes, your life turns our differently than you ever expected. Yes, it can be so terribly hard...He can ask a lot of us. Yes, it can be scary...terrifying is more like it. Giving up control can be the single most difficult challenge of your life, until something happens and you suddenly realize that control you thought you had was all an illusion.
Sadly, I am a hard headed individual. I have definitely had to learn things at the School of Hard Knocks. I spent the first half of my life thinking I knew it all, and I am spending the next stage of it admitting all that I am ignorant of. I also spent years assuming I could run the show, and now I have learned that I don't do it nearly as well as He does. I had a plan for my life which never included 5 kids from halfway around the world, never included living in Colorado, never included not having a college education, never included a desire to become involved in ministry work EVER, and never included writing a blog that has been read over 41,000 times by strangers all over the planet.
But God made me a promise, actually He made it to all of us. He said He would do extraordinary things with us if we let Him. That includes being the mom to girls when you only see yourself as the mom to boys. That includes having a much bigger family than you ever imagined...and hundreds more socks missing mates! That includes sticking your neck out from time to time and caring for people that others might overlook...and I am not just talking about orphans but the people we all encounter in our daily life. It means not being afraid to show our love for others as He has shown His love for us in so many ways.
I rocked Kenny in my arms last night, his long legs hanging over the side of the recliner as he laid cradled there close to me. We talked quietly about how happy he is to have a family and how very hard it was for all of us at first. I asked him if he now felt that I was REALLY his mom and not just another woman taking care of him. He grinned up at me and said "Oh yes mommy, it took awhile but now you my mommy forever and I know it.". He then asked me tentatively if he felt like my "for real" son now, and if it was hard for me too at first. I explained to him that I was always very committed to him, and that love takes time to grow...that I always knew I was his mommy but now more than ever it really felt like it. We whispered quietly about those first days over a year ago, how he acted and how he has changed and grown up so much, about how he was so scared we would change our minds and send him back to Kyrgyzstan or that we wouldn't like him after he did "bad things". He admitted to not liking having our rules at first, and how he had been told he would get anything he ever asked for...and then he giggled at that thought now. He said "I know more now, and I know love is more important than toys...a LOT more important.". And then he said "God promise he take care of us, and He really does. He brought me wonderful family, wonderful new brothers, and soon sisters. How come everyone doesn't have God?".
God's promises are the ones that are never broken. Aren't we fortunate?