Wednesday, August 13, 2008

One More Birthday

Dear ....

Yesterday was your birthday, and you were not home to share it with us. We currently live on the edge of hope...trying hard not to get hopes up too high while being unable to contain our joy that maybe, yes really maybe you will be home soon. It was just yesterday at someone else's birthday party that I was ticking off the various birth months of our kids...and you and your sister were included. We joked about how we had somehow managed to spread them all out throughout the year, as if we had any control over that at all.

I sent you a package and I know you will not receive it on your special day. I want more than anything to make you a LaJoy cake with sprinkles and toothpicks, to give you a hug, and to let you know you are already embraced in the loving fold of a family that will cherish you forever. For that is the truth, we all talk about you and think about you daily. You don't know it, but you are already burrowed deeply within our hearts as "our sister" and "our daughter". You are NOT forgotten, you are NOT alone...and with God's grace soon you will feel that too.

I wish for you peace, happiness with no fears for the future, and a carefree childhood for the time that remains. I wish for you bedtime kisses, stories snuggled next to your siblings, giggles on the trampoline, and yes...even every once in awhile a "He touched me!" and an exasperated "Mommy, can you make him leave me alone!".

Everything we are doing right now includes you in our planning, our thoughts, our dreams. I know for a fact your dreams are including us as well. Hold tight to them, my sweet little girl. We're doing all we can to make them come true, but God has His own schedule and it is perfect.

Happy, Happy Birthday, my daughter. Wish you were here...

Love, Mommy


Maureen said...

What a beautiful birthday wish for your daughter. I hope you are all together as a family very soon.

Anonymous said...

I do hope you include hairbows, pink and ribbons. Get started on that now :). Embrace it LOL
Kim in Seoul
mommy to the most pinked-out beribboned, mirror watching, posing child out there!! (and that is something in your favor ~ your little girls cannot possibly be the most girly girly girls as I have that honor!! :)

Hilary Marquis said...

It's so nice to know that I am not the only "crazy one" out there :) We know there are those out there that would think we're nuts to try to adopt again down the road. But, as you've said before, if they had ever seen what I have, if they'd ever looked into the eyes of children with no could they ever just walk away? I am anxious to see what our future will hold as a family. I don't know who, what, when, where, or how it will happen. But, I do know the "why"...because you do not ignore His Call. And if He makes it clear to us again(and he certainly did the last time!), we will get out of the boat too! Keep your eyes on the Lord and you won't ever sink!

Ohiomom2121 said...

Dear Cindy,

As a PAP hoping to adopt a now 7 year old girl, after wading through 2 years of changes in law while she grew from 5 to 6 and now 7, as we decide whether to replace the 2d girl referral lost to fraud, leaving a pretty large wound, particularly in DH's heart, and as we worry about the FAS we have learned our remaining referral has, your words carry much hope. There are many who doubt us, including ourselves. We try to face down both the worry that we may never get her, as well as the worry that if we do her damage may ruin our family forever. However, both possibilities are out there for us, and we remain focused doggedly on our belief that we were called to adopt 2 little girls out of an orphanage (we have 4 boys!). Now that we have seen and had picture/message contact about our little girl, we simply cannot give up on her...she is adorable and some missionaries were sure she is not retarded. Like you, we are dangling our legs over the side. Thank you for the outstretched hand.

Have loved your blog for nearly all of our wait, as I seek wisdom about older child adoptions.