tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-35990418.post1878434765238293634..comments2024-03-08T13:52:22.224-07:00Comments on LAJOY FAMILY: Back To School For MomCindy LaJoyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16486626867331586704noreply@blogger.comBlogger4125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-35990418.post-15917153696474860802007-09-08T10:27:00.000-06:002007-09-08T10:27:00.000-06:00i was going to say you are one awesome women...but...i was going to say you are one awesome women...but rather...GOD has made you one awesome women...all glory to HIMAnonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-35990418.post-63944178641800337482007-09-06T12:34:00.000-06:002007-09-06T12:34:00.000-06:00I totally agree with you Kim, and soon when langua...I totally agree with you Kim, and soon when language is at the level where we can really explain that, we will definitely discuss that...and practice yelling to get attention. However, I have had reports from 3 different teachers this week plus frustrating experiences at home where he is saying "No" to adults, and at the moment it is more important in my mind to establish adult authority. Kids like Kenny who often handled the younger kids at the orphanage and who are trying to establish the limits in their new life are often busy telling others what to do and how to do it, and declining to do what is asked of them because they really HAVE been the boss a lot in their lives! hahaha! Kenny has perfected this to a fine art :-) He doesn't yet have the discernment and life experiences (let alone language skills) to be able to understand "It's ok to say no in this case...but not in this case..", and actually I am having to remind myself every day that in a mere 3 months I simply can not fill him up with all the information, directives, instructions and rules that it has taken Matthew 8 years to learn. And he really does not understand subtleties yet. Once he is a few more months down the road, and we see cooperation with adults...which I am sure we will...then we will sit down and have the whole stranger talk.<BR/><BR/>One thing that is interesting that I found is really, really important is that you need to teach your kids, who have been taught for years to be respectful, that it is not only ok to say no when someone is doing something they shouldn't, but you have to practice it!! They may very well know a stranger shouldn't touch them but mere habit keeps them from yelling out for help. I found with my Cub Scouts that many of them had never thought much about it and we practiced a couple of meetings yelling out if someone touches you, that there are definitely times that "no" should be said loud and clear and reminded them that it would feel very strange yelling at an adult but that it was ok in those circumstances.<BR/><BR/>I am always trying to figure out what should come first with Kenny, so much has been skipped over and there are a million things we need to go back and visit that the boys already know about. And what order do I do it in? What is the most important and what comes next? You brought up a very valid point and it outlines the very struggles we are having on a day to day basis when trying to navigate this journey. Thanks for the terrific comment!Cindy LaJoyhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/16486626867331586704noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-35990418.post-86418713891086047072007-09-06T11:17:00.000-06:002007-09-06T11:17:00.000-06:00Thanks to all of you La Joys for the time you shar...Thanks to all of you La Joys for the time you shared with me last night. When Joshie ran and jumped in my arms squeeling, "Miss Joan is here!" it touched my heart at it's deepest point. It is something I don't necessarily expect because, after all, my work with you and others is not about me. Yet, I feel so blessed, and a bit guilty, to have the benefit of feeling part of your family and feeling loved by your precious children, as I have easily grown to love them. As we sat in the restaurant it was simply amazing to see the cohesive, secure, comfortable and loving way your family interacts. Your boys are so genuine and show such character at their young ages. That speaks highly of your parenting and your consistent love, commitment and direction. They are well behaved, not without the typical need for redirection, and respectfully responsive to you. I wish all parents (not to suggest that there aren't other wonderful families out there, because there are!) could spend time with your family and see how well you all work together. Kenny's integration into the family is amazing as I even forget that he is a "new" member. He is happy to be a LaJoy, it is clear. Matthew, as he chowed down on the cabbage salsa, quietly projects a peaceful, thoughtful and genuinely kind spirit. Joshie, giving his stuffed doggie a ride in the chip basket, shows that his cute sense of humor is developing toward the likes of his father's sarcastic quality. And the love, respect and fun shared between you and Dominick is something anyone would envy. You are so "yourselves" and, with no "churchy" push, emit a sense of faith that is contagious and inspiring. So,know that what I have offered your family is small comparison to what your family has given me in return. Love you all lots and look forward to the next time we get together! JoanAnonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-35990418.post-12304324457150237612007-09-06T08:32:00.000-06:002007-09-06T08:32:00.000-06:00sounds like you are on top of this one. i think it...sounds like you are on top of this one. i think it is a great idea for you to go to school with him and try to help him through this tough adjustment and understand what is expected of him.<BR/><BR/>i did shudder a bit when i read the part where you said you have told him he is "never to tell an adult no". there are, unfortunately, situations in this world of ours where a child should know that it is ok to tell an adult "no". kenny is probably never alone with any adults but you and your husband now, but as he grows older and does start to have activities where you are not around, please make sure you instill in him that SOMETIMES a child has every right to tell an adult "no".Anonymoushttps://www.blogger.com/profile/00781164870994615088noreply@blogger.com